A Senior Move Story
As a Senior Move Manager®, I have had the pleasure and privilege of working with hundreds of people moving from one home to another. The circumstances are all different, of course. Lots of people move due to job opportunities, relationship changes, and a host of other reasons. With seniors, the decision to move may be borne out of a very different set of circumstances. Changes in health status, the desire to let go of homeownership responsibilities, and to be closer to family members are among the more common reasons a move may be necessary or even welcomed.
One such move was that of a woman (let’s call her Betty) who had recently been widowed. I was instantly drawn to her, understanding the same unimaginable loss. I listened with keen interest to the stories of their life together, a love story. They had been married for well over 50 years when her husband passed away. The heartbreak and grief were still raw when Betty decided it was time to move just a few months after his passing. While conventional thinking says to make no major life decisions within a year of a loved one’s loss, each situation is its own and each person makes the decision that feels right to them. Betty and her husband had discussed the idea of moving prior to his illness, so it was not a hasty decision or totally out of the question to consider moving forward with that plan.
The home had seen a lot of life, as many so often do. It was the childhood home for the three kids raised there. It stood witness to birthday parties, Sunday dinners, backyard vegetable gardens, holiday hosting, and TV movie nights along with the day-to-day activities of family life. As we advanced our way through the process, Betty uttered countless times, ‘We’ve lived here for 40 years.’ Sometimes it was barely more than a whisper, other times it was said in awe of how many belongings had accumulated in that time. Sometimes it reflected the wonder and shock of the present circumstances of life. Always, it was a statement filled with gratitude for the life lived in that house.
Decisions, Decisions
We began the project with a healthy dose of decluttering for which Betty was ready. As we worked our way from room to room, the boxes of donations and bags for disposal mounted. Betty had enough Tupperware® to be a distributor herself, but that’s another story altogether. Not only did Betty make decisions about her belongings as well as those of her late husband’s, she also made decisions about items that belonged to other family members who once lived in the home as well and had also passed away. It is certainly not uncommon especially among the senior population to see the effects of multi-generational living. Reviewing the possessions of various family members brought items to life with the stories of their origins. Memories brought to the surface helped to both engage with and release some of these precious belongings. While some items organically rose to the top of the keep pile, the remembrance and storytelling allowed others to be let go. This can add an additional layer of emotional weight, but Betty stood firm in her resolve to forge ahead. And forge she did. Some family members were on hand as well to determine ‘who gets what’ among the items Betty was ready to let go. More than two truckloads of donations were hauled away.
Betty’s new home is in a senior living community within the same town. Although already familiar, she did the necessary research, toured and visited, and comfortably selected the place that was best suited for her needs and lifestyle. She was and remains very active in community projects and activities with friends and family, and was not giving up any of that because of the move. That helped a great deal in reinforcing her decision to move so closely tied to her husband’s passing. That’s not always the case, however. Choosing a place to live is no small feat especially among the senior population. There are so many considerations that require careful thought. A Senior Living Advisor or Geriatric Care Manager are invaluable resources to help guide this intricate process. It is definitely worth having a conversation to become familiar with the available options and know there is help to create and navigate a plan.
A New Life in a New Home
Because of Betty’s thoughtful research, she knew exactly how much space was available in her new apartment. She knew how much kitchen cabinet space was available and how much closet space she had to work with. Measurements were taken and furniture plotted out in advance. Enough simply cannot be said for this as it served as a guiding star as to how much would move with Betty. As the contents of her family home were neatly packed into labeled boxes, Betty was confident that the items she chose to keep were the most meaningfully selected and that they would find a new home in her new home.
Sadly, this is not always the case. Moving is a highly, emotionally charged endeavor. It’s difficult and overwhelming at best to make the thousands of decisions that are necessary. Yes thousands, because a decision needs to be made for every single item. For the senior population, add in declining health, loss of a loved one or other life circumstances, and the situation can deteriorate quickly.
When move day arrived, Betty was ready. Although she waved goodbye to the house, she knew she was not waving goodbye to the memories fostered there. Once arrived in the place she now calls home and the unpacking began, Betty’s new life began to take on new life.
While Betty was sure of her decisions, she acknowledged that she needed help as mobility issues prevented her from participating in any of the physical aspects associated with her move. Betty recognized the value of working with a Senior Move Manager® not only for the ‘boots on the ground’ and logistical help, but for compassionate and respectful support through one of life’s most trying circumstances.
Bravo, Betty. Welcome home.